


yours to keep, yours to lose

by codenametargeter



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: College AU, M/M, Modern AU, Modern Royalty, Secret Relationship, background Dorogrid, irritating heteronormativity expected even of modern royalty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29525595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codenametargeter/pseuds/codenametargeter
Summary: He doesn't love it but Dimitri at least is used to how he and Felix keep their romantic relationship a secret from all but their closest friends. After all, he is a prince and the tabloids would never let either of them have a moment's peace if they knew.And yet... and yet.Written for Dimilix Week 2021, Day 4: Secrets and Academia AU
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	yours to keep, yours to lose

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the same verse as [shiny things, paper rings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28527387) which I encourage you to read if you'd like gay disasters Dorothea and Ingrid (and also more world building) but most of what you need to know from there is that Dorothea and Ingrid recently started dating and that they all attend Garreg Mach University. 
> 
> Also I definitely had no plans to write this but my brain had different plans a few days ago and now here we are! (Thanks Dimilix Week.) Apologies for any typos etc as this only got the lightest of editing passes.

“You’re going to get us caught one day,” Felix muttered, cheeks flushed a pretty pink that few people outside of their group of friends had ever seen. There was no one else to see it now in the back corner of the campus library. Only books were there to witness the color he blushed because of how Dimitri had pressed him up against one of the shelves to kiss him deeply. 

“No one’s looking or even around,” Dimitri said, leaving a soft trail of barely there kisses down his jaw line.

Felix said, “We’re in public. They might. You can’t get caught.”

Reluctantly, Dimitri pressed one last quick kiss to Felix’s lips before pulling away. 

People made a lot of assumptions about Prince Dimitri Blaiddyd of Faerghus, thanks in great part to the media. He’d gotten used to it a long time ago and learned to just listen to them with a polite smile unless, of course, they were so wildly incorrect or damaging to the crown that a politely worded correction had to go along with the polite smile. It went along with being part of a royal family in their modern world. His father Lambert had reluctantly explained as much to him when he was still a young child. It was a part of the price they paid for the privileged life they lived. 

But there was a difference between assumptions made by people who only knew him as a future figurehead of state and by the people closest to him. 

“Felix…” He started to say as they both automatically ran their hands over their own hair and clothes to smooth anything down that might have become rumpled even though the kisses they’d just stolen in the library stacks had been positively chaste compared to the ones they’d exchanged before leaving the penthouse that morning. 

“You have the book we came here for, right?” Felix said, not giving him a chance to finish his thought. Dimitri nodded. “Then come on. I’ve got to pass you off to Sylvain so I’m not late for practice.”

“I thought your practice wasn’t until 4:30?”

“It’s not but you know how Sylvain is.”

Dimitri tried not to smile but failed. “You mean how he wants to say hello and ask you about your day before you toss me to him like a potato?” 

Rolling his eyes, Felix said, “You’re too damn big to be tossed like anything but yeah. That.”

“It’s not the worst thing he could do,” said Dimitri. In fact, Dimitri kind of liked it. It made him feel marginally less awkward and guilty about how his three oldest friends had all willingly agreed to train and serve as his bodyguards while he was on campus so he didn’t have to be trailed everywhere by large men in black suits with guns. Pausing to chat about their days when they were switching off made it feel at least a little bit normal.

They paused to let someone step out from the stairwell before entering it themselves, taking the three flights of stairs down to the library’s first floor almost in unison despite the differences in their heights. “I guess it’s better than how he keeps leaving the stupid water pitcher on the counter.”

“True.” As they passed by the second floor landing, Dimitri started to say, “Felix, about before… if there’s something wrong…”

Felix glared up at him. “There’s nothing wrong. Why would you think that?” 

“Ahh…” he searched hopelessly for the right words, “Just a hunch?”

“There’s not. Even if there was, I wouldn’t want to talk about it here.”

“Perhaps back at home then?”

A shrug before they continued on their way was the best he was going to get. 

But still, the look in Felix’s amber eyes lingered in Dimitri’s mind eye well after they’d met up with Sylvain and Felix had headed off to practice for the university’s fencing team. 

“Did you and Felix fight or something?” Sylvain finally asked once they stepped into their apartment building’s elevator. 

Dimitri considered the question for a moment before shaking his head. “No, I wouldn’t call it that. We just… disagreed.” 

Both of Sylvain’s red eyebrows raised. “Sooooo Felix being… Felix?” 

He shook his head again. “It’s nothing, Sylvain. Truly. It’s just a disagreement, nothing more.” 

“Nothing. Got it.” Judging by his tone, Dimitri suspected that Sylvain did _not_ get it but at least he dropped it and whistled as he headed off towards his own room once the elevator doors opened again to reveal the penthouse the three of them shared along with Ingrid. 

Finally alone, Dimitri dropped his bag beside the sofa and kept walking right to the kitchen. He hadn’t lied to Sylvain: they weren’t fighting but at the same time, things weren’t quite right between them. Felix was prickly on his best of days but he’d seemed to be particularly on edge as of late when it came to them. They’d both had plenty of practice stealing kisses and dropping the other’s hand when someone approached long before they’d come to Garreg Mach University. The royal palace back in Fhirdiad had plenty of nooks and crannies to hideaway in. Perhaps foolishly, Dimitri had thought things were and could be different here. Both Sylvain and Ingrid had figured out they were together ages ago which meant that when he and Felix were home, they could act like any other couple. 

It had been a precious slice of normalcy in Dimitri’s very abnormal life. 

Carefully, he poured himself a cold glass of water, drained a third of it, and then refilled it before heading back to the living room. Settling on the sofa, Dimitri pulled out one of his textbooks but took in none of its information about the fundamental principles of economics as his mind wandered right back to Felix. He’d tried to pretend like it wasn’t happening but there was no denying that Felix had been shying away from any sort of physical affection that might give them away if they were out more and more as of late when before, they’d both revelled in the thrill of a stolen kiss. And he didn’t know why. He wished he did. 

His phone buzzed with a new text message, jolting Dimitri out of his thoughts. **want a burger from that Dagdan place?** If Felix was texting him about dinner, much more time must have passed than he had realized. **That would be great. Thank you, Felix.** he typed back quickly, not needing to say anything more. Felix would know what he wanted, something he confirmed a few minutes later when his phone buzzed once more: **be there in 20**

Felix was nothing if not punctual and so twenty minutes later, Dimitri heard the sound of the elevator doors sliding open and Felix swearing quietly as he kicked off his shoes. 

“How’d practice go?” Dimitri asked as he took the bag of burgers from him and started to pull everything out and set them on plates. The oversized fries got their own as did each burger.

Felix shrugged. “Fine. Coach was on von Aegir’s case and left the rest of us alone today aside from assigning drills.” He disappeared down the hallway for a moment before returning without his gym bag, hands occupied with pulling his hair back up into a ponytail that was never anything but messy no matter how hard he tried. “I’ll be ready for our next competition next week though.” 

Dimitri nodded. “I’m looking forward to coming to watch. You’re always beautiful to watch with a sword in your hand.” 

“Flatterer,” Felix said before slipping between him and the counter, putting one hand on his neck, and pulling Dimitri down into a kiss. Tension he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding melted from his shoulders as Dimitri returned the kiss enthusiastically. If he was kissing him like that, it meant Felix wasn’t angry. When at last their lips parted, Felix nodded towards the plates of food. “We should eat before Ingrid tries to steal the fries.” 

“I thought she was out with Dorothea tonight,” Dimitri said, sliding onto one of the barstools they had by the counter while Felix took the other, enthusiastically diving into his own burger. 

“She’s--” He chewed and swallowed his mouthful of food before trying again. “She is. Wouldn’t put it past her though.”

There was a strange flash of something in Felix’s eyes at the mention of Ingrid and her new girlfriend which was odd because he thought they’d all agreed that they liked Dorothea especially since she’d been genuine about being interested in Ingrid for who she was as opposed to being more interested in her title and connections. Also, no one who saw them together could doubt there had been anything but instant, mutual attraction since the moment the two women had met. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, pieces began to fall into place as Dimitri realized exactly when Felix had started to be more paranoid about them getting caught. As casually as he could manage, he said, “I think Ingrid mentioned they’re trying that new Almyran place. If she says it’s good, maybe we should go try it next week.” 

There it was again. Felix took another large bite of burger. “Better put it on Sylvain’s calendar now then.”

“No,” Dimitri said, setting down his own mostly eaten cheeseburger. “I meant just the two of us.”

Felix froze and kept his eyes focused on some random spot on the countertop. “That sounds like a date.”

“I did mean it to be one. We haven’t gone out alone together in awhile.” 

“Did you forget about all the stupid photographers who follow you everywhere off campus?”

“Of course not.”

“But you want us to go on a date?” 

“Yes.”

Felix’s expression became the human equivalent of a thunderstorm. “And then what?”

“We… eat dinner together?” Dimitri offered. 

His scowl deepened. “And what? Hold hands across the table? Kiss over the tiramisu?”

“Well, it’s Almyran so I don’t think they have tiramisu-”

“Oh for fu--”

“--and besides, you don’t care for sweets so ordering dessert would be rather wasteful.”

“That’s not the point!”

Dimitri stopped talking, grabbing some fries so he wouldn’t be tempted to say anything further. He didn’t particularly enjoy pressing Felix like this and therefore rarely did but sometimes… He loved his boyfriend. He really did but Felix had never been what anyone would call good when it came to talking about his feelings especially when something was bothering him. 

It took another few minutes, mostly filled with Dimitri eating fries so he wouldn’t be tempted to speak and Felix picking at what’s left of his burger, before Felix said, “I know we can’t, okay? I get it. I just…” He dropped the slice of pickle. “It’s whatever.” 

Carefully, Dimitri reached out to rest a hand over one of Felix’s, waiting a moment before curling his fingers around his. “If there’s something bothering you… something that I can help with… please tell me.” 

Felix kept his eyes averted but squeezed his hand back. “I’m just jealous, I guess. Of Ingrid.” 

It was vaguely phrased but Dimitri knew he didn’t actually mean Dorothea herself. It was more about the relative freedom their friend had with her relationship. Dimitri himself had felt a tinge of envy about a month ago when the paparazzi who haunted his steps had caught wind of Ingrid’s new relationship and turned their attention on her. There had been a flurry of mostly false stories and pictures in the tabloids for a few days… and then nothing much to everyone’s relief. A week later, they’d returned back to their usual tactic of writing stories about some supposed new mystery woman in Dimitri’s life if he smiled and spoke to someone for more than a few seconds. Ingrid and Dorothea had been free to go out to dinner and to art museums on dates together without it becoming tabloid fodder.

“Felix,” Dimitri started to say, “I do not mean to make you feel like you are some dirty little secret.” 

That was enough to make Felix meet Dimitri’s eyes again, something in his own amber ones softening. “I know you don’t. You never have.”

Dimitri said, “I thought we’d agreed we’d be happier if we kept our relationship a secret to avoid the undue scrutiny you would face from the press and the rest of the world. If that has changed for you…”

“It’s our own damn business, not theirs,” Felix said fiercely. “And your father would kill me if he knew. Mine too.”

“My father loves you!” Dimitri protested. “You know he thinks of you and your family like part of our own.”

Felix said dryly, “King Lambert thinks I’m an asshole and that it’s a good thing Glenn’s inheriting the title.” 

That… was not untrue. But one statement did not invalidate the other. Felix had never claimed to be anything despite what he was and Dimitri loved him all the more for it. Still, he said, “He is fond of you, Felix."

“Up until he finds out his son is fucking me every night and I haven’t slept in my own bedroom for months.”

“Not every night…” Dimitri said, more to himself than anything. 

Felix snorted. “Right. Like that’ll make it better.” 

The thought of either of their fathers knowing any of this was enough to make Dimitri blush if he thought too much about it. “Perhaps we don’t need to mention that part but if you’d like to tell our parents about our relationship, I am certainly willing.” 

“And then what?” 

He blinked. “We go on whatever sort of date you’d like and weather the media storm. Together.”

Felix pulled his hand free and snorted. “You’re such an idiot sometimes.” 

It never ceased to amaze him how many different ways Felix could convey _I love you_ without using the actual words. Dimitri said with an amused smile, “Your idiot.” 

“Only for now.” The instant the words were out of his mouth, Felix’s mouth snapped shut and his eyes widened. Clearly he had not meant to voice that. 

“I don’t understand,” Dimitri said because now he really was lost. 

“Look, I’m not dumb. I know that we’re not living in some stupid fairy tale,” Felix said, the words coming out in a rush. “Well, you are because you’re a prince but I’m not.” 

Dimitri frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He looked away again. “It means I know that this--that what we have has a time limit.”

None of this was making any sense. “Time limit? Felix, I don’t understand what you-”

“I mean that one day, you’re going to break up with me and marry some woman who can give you perfect little Blaiddyd babies to wear your stupid, figurehead crown after we’re all dead!” Felix said with ire in his voice, jerking his gaze back up to meet Dimitri’s. 

“Felix, I-”

“So there’s no fucking point in letting all those people rip into you for being bisexual and dating me when we both already know how this ends.” 

Dimitri didn’t consider himself particularly talkative but it wasn’t often that he was rendered speechless. No words came to him now. Felix didn’t say anything either, just glaring up at him. Finally, Dimitri said, “Do you want to break up?” 

It was Felix’s turn to be caught off guard. “What? No.”

“Then you are wrong and we _don’t_ know how this ends,” Dimitri said, reaching to take him in his arms again. “Or if it ends.”

“Don’t say shit like that,” Felix said, the words muttered into Dimitri’s chest. 

“Don’t say what? That I love you?”

“No, that part’s fine.” 

“Then what? That we don’t know whether our relationship will end or endure?”

“Ugh.” Felix tightened his grip on Dimitri’s shirt and kept speaking into his chest. “That sounds too much like…”

“Like what?”

Felix remained stubbornly silent and yet Dimitri suspected he knew the word on his mind given what he’d said only a few minutes before. 

Carefully, Dimitri shifted so he could lean back and gently nudge Felix’s chin upwards to look at him and so he had to actually meet his eyes. “I have no intention of marrying anyone except for the person I find myself deeply in love with regardless of anyone else’s objections. Assuming, of course, they accept.” 

“Don’t you dare--” Felix started to say, flushing pink for the second time that day. 

Dimitri ducked his head to cut him off with a quick kiss. “I’m not asking, I promise. Not that at least. We’re too young to be thinking of things like that.” 

“Good,” he said, the colors in his cheeks still lingering. 

“And besides, I wouldn’t ask you like this,” Dimitri said, keeping his tone light and teasing because really there was no reason for Felix to know that he _had_ thought about it once or twice before. “It would be more romantic.”

“Ugh,” Felix said, wrinkling his nose. “Stop.” 

“You are the one who brought up marriage first,” Dimitri said, dropping his arms to let Felix shift away so they weren’t pressed against each other. “But Felix?” 

“Yeah?”

Dimitri spoke slowly, choosing each word carefully. “If you would like for us to revisit our decision about keeping our relationship a secret… whether it is now or months from now… I would find the onslaught of tabloid stories a price I am more than willing to pay to take you on a proper date like you deserve.” 

Something flickered in Felix’s amber eyes. “I wouldn’t stop flipping off those asshole photographers.” 

“I know,” he said simply. At least it wouldn’t be a particularly new pain point. Dimitri had accidentally overheard at least two phone calls Felix had had with his father Rodrigue in which the elder Fraldarius had repeatedly told Felix that throwing his middle finger up was not an acceptable way to handle the paparazzi being particularly aggressive. (Felix’s answer was usually that he could punch them instead which also never went well.) 

He barely had time for those thoughts to pass through his mind before Felix grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him down into another searing kiss. Together, they stumbled away from the island and towards the hallway that led to their bedroom only for Dimitri to derail them by pressing Felix up against the first wall they encountered. “I’m not,” Felix said between kisses, “saying we do it.” Dimitri made an affirmative sound as he began lavishing attention on a sensitive point on Felix’s neck. “Just that… we should… _fuck_! should… talk later…”

That was the general idea, yes. “Whatever you’d like, Felix.”

“Hey.” Felix wove a hand through Dimitri’s blond hair, pulling at it and making Dimitri look up at him. “You’re not fucking outting yourself just because you think it’s what I want. Got it?” 

“If we do this, it will be because it is what we both want,” Dimitri said with every last ounce of sincerity he could muster which was rather a lot. Felix, however, didn’t look as if he entirely believed him until Dimitri added, “I promise.” 

For a long moment, it seemed as if Felix was going to say something but then he rose up onto his toes, chasing Dimitri’s lips for another kiss. Dimitri bent his knees slightly, hands sliding over Felix’s rear and down his thighs until he could grip them firmly, lifting Felix until the other man’s legs locked around his waist. “Bed,” Felix said, kissing him again. “Now. Talk tomorrow.” 

"Talk tomorrow,” Dimitri agreed, blindly stumbling the rest of the way towards the bedroom he thought of as theirs. 

Tomorrow. Yes. They could talk tomorrow. And decide what secrets they still wanted to keep together. 


End file.
